A family created with the help of a surrogate (and a possible egg donor) is a normal family. And, it's also different because a surrogate, and a possible egg donor, and their families are also involved. They all form part of the child's origins. So they belong to it too. The child has (biological) family beyond its nuclear family.
And what's also sometimes different is that one of the parents doesn't share blood ties with the child. But everyone belongs because:
Genetic ties aren't the only way of being family. A non-biological parent is just as much a real parent as one with blood ties to the child. And the surrogate and egg donor also belong to the child's family. The limits of ‘who is family’ shift.
The parent-child attachment is founded on love, security and trust. And that's not possible without honesty and openness about surrogacy and donor conception. Further, knowing your parentage is a human right.
By talking to your child about surrogacy from a young age, you create an atmosphere of openness and trust. This helps your child feel safe to ask questions. Children appreciate their parents occasionally raising the matter of their own accord during their upbringing.
Children need to feel able to talk to other people about their family situation. This is also true for children born with the help and children of surrogates and egg donors. Whether with friends, at school, or with their families. It's important to be open.
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When it comes to surrogacy, who counts as family?
When a child is born with the assistance of a surrogate (and donor), the child has family beyond their nuclear family. [...]
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