My mother is an egg donor or wants to become one for intended parents

Your mother is an egg donor in a surrogacy process. Or she wants to become an egg donor. What does this mean for you? 

If your mother tells you that she is an egg donor or wants to become one, you'll probably have a lot of questions:

• Exactly how does egg donation work? What does this mean for your mother? How does that work with a surrogate mother? What'll happen at the birth and afterwards?
• What does this mean for you? Will you get a half-brother or -sister? What role will the child have in your life? 
• Will you have contact with the intended and surrogate parents? Perhaps you know them already or would like to get to know them? Does is feel easy or awkward, and what makes it awkward?
• How do you go about telling your friends and classmates?
   

Perhaps you're worried or find it weird or dumb. Or perhaps you're actually proud of your mother. It's important to talk to your parents about this. If you or your parents find this difficult, they can ask for help or you can ask together. From a family therapist, specialised counsellor or a professional with expert experience. From someone else you trust, like a teacher at school.

Contact with other children in the same situation can also be helpful. They know what it's like to have a mother who's an egg donor; they understand and can give you tips or advice. You can get in contact with other children of egg donors through Stichting Donorkind (Donor Child Foundation). 

Perhaps you'd like to get to know the intended parents (better). So that you can ask them questions about why they want to have a child with your mother as egg donor, what's going to happen after the birth and whether you'll be able to visit the baby afterwards. Perhaps they'll let you go to an ultrasound or show you the baby's nursery. Perhaps you'll also be able to get to know the surrogate mother better. So that you see in whose belly the baby is growing. 

Perhaps you're also wondering how you're going to tell your classmates, friends and teacher about it. You can to talk to your parents about what to say. They or a teacher can help you with this. If you want to, you could also give a talk about egg donation and surrogacy to your classmates so that the children understand about it better.